Sunday 23 August 2015

Bringing sexy back into relationships - Tips to fix bedroom issues


They say every couple has its problems.


But what about sex?

Yes, even though sex can be considered to be the best part of being in a relationship, couples do argue about sex, so much so that it can even lead to a break-up.

Let's look at some of the sex peeves that most couples face.

Addressing problems ranging from the classic headache excuses to the partner with the energy of a rabbit who wants to have sex all the time, sex expert Godivah, helps us find some quick fixes.


INCOMPATIBLE SEX DRIVES


"She wants to jump my bones all the time."

The truth is that some men simply cannot keep up with their women's demands in the bedroom. This can lead to some men flipping the script and employing the classic "sorry honey, I have a headache" excuse.

LET'S FIX IT!


Godivah says preparation is key.

"Make an agreement to meet at least once a week for a wild sex date. This way the sexier partner knows that at least on that day something is going to happen and has something to look forward to, as opposed to being met by rejection daily.

On this sex date, the less sexy partner should really go all out and leave their sexy partner gasping for air, all in an effort to sustain their partner until the next sex date.

"Also, during the build-up to the sex date, the less sexy partner should get lots of exercise and sleep, and also use natural libido herbs like Yam cream for women and Muira Puama for men, [or try the] old fashioned gingko bilobo for both men and women."

EARLY EJACULATION

In its extreme case, early ejaculation warrants a visit to the doctor. But some men cite excitement as their reason for reaching orgasm fast.

While this may seem like a compliment that your partner was excited to make love to you, the reality is that their snores reverberating in the room while you are still high and dry can be a major turn-off, and even arouse feelings of resentment.

LET'S FIX IT!

Godivah says there is a trick that most men can use to control ejaculation, which does not even require medication or needles.

"It's the squeeze technique, a famous sex therapy method for holding back the ejaculation.

"It involves holding the penis in your hand and squeezing like you are gently throttling a chicken, just under the head of the penis. Squeeze hard as soon as orgasm is on its way, but not too hard as this cuts off circulation."



MORNING GLORY

This is a slang term used for sex first thing in the morning, before both partners wake up to face the day. It is often a favourite for most couples as some people say having sex first thing in the morning rejuvenates them and gives them the vooma to conquer the day with a big smile on their faces. The flip side of the coin is that not everyone likes it. Can a couple reach a middle ground?

LET'S FIX IT!

Godivah says the trick here is to compromise and take a rain check.

"The one who hates morning sex must make an effort, and stick to it. Firstly explain to your partner why you don't like morning glory, and then provide the time and space for another delightful time of the day, like in the afternoon, or as soon as you both get home from work.

"This will compensate for the lack of morning glory, and your partner will be delighted that you at least have a specific time of day when you can have a sexy time."

SEX ON THE BED ONLY

Yes, some people can only have sex strictly on the bed.

This means that they cannot relate that line from Beyonce's song: "We woke up in the kitchen."

Some people can find this aversion to having sex in other places as non-adventurous and boring, not to mention exhausting the poor bed springs.

LET'S FIX IT!

Godivah says: "If your partner is that uncomfortable with having sex elsewhere, you can start by creating a bed in every room of the the house you want to have sex in, it just takes an extra mattress, and bedding.

"Hopefully as time goes on, your partner won't need the apparatuses anymore."

LACK OF FOREPLAY

One Zola 7 episode once sparked an uproar on Facebook when Zola helped a woman visit her man in jail, and she came out all smiles like the cat that caught the canary.

When Zola asked the reason for her delight, she shyly responded: "He kissed me, for the first time ever!"

The controversy? The couple had two kids.

For some people foreplay, or even mere sexy kissing before sex is an urban myth. This can make the one partner feel unattractive, or like a piece of meat.

So how can a partner who doesn't like foreplay be eased into it?

LET'S FIX IT!

Godivah says one needs to start with the basics.

"Everyone loves a massage. This creates a middle ground. Make this massage as sexy as ever, using scented oils and a little kiss and nibble here and there.

"This should give the foreplay-phobe an idea of what you would like before sex and hopefully they will reciprocate."

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