Sunday, 26 July 2015

Sharing same bed: Making it work



Albert awoke suddenly from sleep. His damn breathing difficulty had started again. He searched around frantically for his inhaler when the horrific realisation dawned on him; he had left it on the television console when he was watching the late night news. He stared dizzily at the door and felt on the bed for his wife’s presence. Then he remembered that tonight was the night they slept on separate beds. He tossed and turned, and attempted to scream her name but nothing came out. Two hours later, his wife came into the room to wake him for his prayers and found him lifeless. Her screams pierced the hollows of their sombre neighbourhood.

Cultural recommendations, religious affiliations and individual preferences come to play when a couple decides on whether they will use same or separate beds. As cozy as it may be, there are also some disadvantages that come with this practice, even though the advantages are more. Below are some ways to work around the practice:

Consider size

When it comes to beds, it is preferable for the couple to consider king-sized mattresses. It is handy for couples who would rather sleep on separate beds as one gets space even within the same confines. It is also ideal for improving family relationships as children can also find space within the bed – perfect for an ailing child. A full size mattress also gives the individuals space to explore, without being necessarily disturbed by the other person.

Create comfortable noise

For those with partners who snore, creating a distracting noise is effective when one wants to achieve the benefits of sleeping in the same room. A fan can be left on all night and there are also sounds that retain same level all night to mask the noise of the partner. One may also take advantage of technology as there are apps that can run all night to make this masking sound effect. They are referred to as “white noise apps”.

Get appropriate beddings

There are partners who tend to make unconscious motions when they sleep and this may last for a better part of the night. To help the situation, go for appropriate bed toppers which have the ability to absorb motions, thus making the partner’s noise less disturbing. An example of this is the memory foam mattress topper which is like a blanket.

Also, for those who are sensitive to motions, one could get separate blankets for both partners. This helps to retain appropriate cover, while ensuring that both are covered up for the night. It also eases the discomfort experienced when one partner may need to be up before the other. For very serious situations, the couple may consider twin beds.

Understand stability

While it is necessary to make sure that the cushions have a solid structure, it is doubly necessary for a couple to look critically at stability for the structure of the bed frames. Be sure that the mattress is absolutely compatible with the frame before sharing the bed as a wobbly structure will only increase irritation all through the night.

Prepare

Partners in a relationship should understand their schedules to prepare in advance for what to expect during bed time. The individual must come to an understanding of what to expect in the partner, such as if they sleep at different times, if one works late into the night, if one prefers movie nights in the bedroom, if one gets up earlier than the other, among other issues, and work towards a compromise. Changing the lights in the bedroom, such as adopting bedside lamps, creating a far off space for electronics, opting for soundproof doors and windows, moving the wardrobe away from the bed, are some of the ways to making sleeping on the same bed convenient for both.

The pillow-fence alternative

Depending on the level of disturbance a partner perceives may occur during the night, one may opt for throw pillows or real pillows. This works very well for relationships in which one partner has the tendency to kick around during sleep. Erect a pillow barrier between you and the partner to reduce the consequences of wild motions during sleep.

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