Of a truth, unless a woman allows herself to be humble towards her husband and love him sincerely, nothing he does will make her happy. She'll see wrong in everything. Read a wife's confession:
My "Aha Moment" happened because of a package of meat. I asked my husband to stop by the store to pick up a few things for dinner on his way home, and when he got home, he brought the bag to me in the kitchen. I started pulling things out of the bag but realized he'd gotten the 70/30 meat - which means it's 70% lean and 30% fat.
I got mad at my husband. I asked, "What's this?" Looking confused, he replied, "meat."
"You didn't get the right kind," I shouted.
"I didn't?" He replied, looking sad. "Was there some other brand you wanted or something?"
"No. You're missing the point, " I screamed at him again.
"You got the 70/30. I always get at least the 80/20," I said quickly.
"Oh. That's all? I thought I'd really messed up or something," He laughed.
And that's it! I got mad! Why did he laugh? I launched into him. I berated him for not being smart. Why would he not get the more healthy meat?
Did he even read the labels? Why can't I trust him? Do I need to spell out every little thing for him before he can get things right? Also, why wasn't he more observant? How could he not have noticed over the years that I always buy the 80/20 meat? Does he not pay attention to anything I do?
As he sat there, bearing the brunt of my indignation and muttering responses like, "I never noticed, I really don't think it's that big of a deal," and "I'll get it right next time," I saw his face gradually take on an expression that I'd seen on him a lot in recent times. It was a combination of resignation and demoralization. That's when it hit me. "Why am I doing this to my own loving husband?"
I suddenly felt terrible. And embarrassed for myself. He was right. It really wasn't anything to get bent out of shape over. And there I was doing just that. Over a silly package of meat that he dutifully picked up from the market to save me, his wife, some stress. If I had wanted him to by a specific kind of meat, I should have simply told him.
I've been arrogant to my man. Still, I didn't know how to gracefully extract myself from the conversation without coming across like I have some kind of split personality, so I just mumbled something like, "Yeah. I guess we'll make do with this. I'm going to start preparing the food."
My husband is the quiet type, he doesn't like trouble. He smiled and just walked out of the kitchen.
And then I sat there and thought long and hard about what I'd just done. And what I'd been doing to him since we got married.
The "meat moment," as I've come to call it, certainly wasn't the first time I talked to my husband just any how I liked. But why do I do that? How does it benefit me to constantly belittle my husband? The man that I've taken as my partner for life. The father of my children. The guy I want to have by my side as I grow into the woman of my dreams.
Why do I do what ladies are often accused of, trying to control my man when I should be supporting? Do I feel like I'm accomplishing something? Why do I think it's reasonable to expect him to remember everything I want and do it just the way I want?
The instances in which my husband does something differently, is he wrong? When did "my way" become "the only way?"
When did it become okay to talk to ones husband just anyhow? I am making some foolish mistake!
Am I making him feel happy he married me? I doubt it. And it I'm pretty sure all my actions are making him think his best approach in regards to my attitude is to start avoiding me as much as he can.
Why am I doing this to myself? I should be the one to make my husband smile, so that he can feel happy in the morning when he gets up to go hustle and bring money for us to plan and live happily.
THE NEXT LEVEL
Soon, I started thinking about what I'd observed with my friends' relationships, and things my girlfriends would complain about regarding their husbands, and I realized that I wasn't alone.
Somehow, too many ladies have fallen into the belief that Wife Always Knows Best. There's even a phrase to reinforce it: "Happy wife, happy life." Sadly, this thinking don't give regard to the husband.
It's an easy stereotype to buy into. Look at the media. Movies, TV, advertisements - they're all filled with images of hapless husbands and clever wives. We see them all the time. BUT THEY ARE BAD!
What constantly nagging our husband does is send a message to him that: "we don't respect you. We don't think you're smart enough to do things right. We expect you to mess up. And when you do, you'll be called out on it swiftly and without respect."
Given this kind of negative reinforcement over time, he feels like nothing he can do is right (in your eyes). If he's confident with himself and who he is, he'll come to resent you. Your beauty will fade in his eyes and it is just a matter of time before he gets rid of you for good.
There may be some men who treat their wives badly too, but a wise women will never hurt her husband!
My husband is a better person than me. He doesn't bite my head off when I don't do things the way he likes. As a human, I do a lot of things wrong too. But my husband still create time to advise me. Wow!
The bottom line in all this is that I chose this man as my partner. He's not my enemy. I married him because I love him and I believe together we can build a good life for ourselves and our kids.
It takes two to make a marriage. No one is always right and no one is always wrong. Ladies, we don't have to always go all out for a eye-to-eye with our husband. If challenging your husband is your style then my candid advise for you is to drop that if you truly want to enjoy him. I know this... it's the truth!
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