Nobel laureate, Prof. Wole Soyinka, on Wednesday gave former President
Olusegun Obasanjo an unforgettable Christmas present by issuing a
scathing response to his autobiography, “My Watch”, describing it as the
narrative of a career liar perennially determined to crookedly project
himself above his true standing among men.
Soyinka said the Obasanjo brand was compounded by the inclination of
even foisting the lies on members of the younger generation.
Obasanjo had in his book dismissed Soyinka as a self-serving critic,
who always seeks to shine out among men, describing the Nobel laureate
as a “misfit as a political analyst, commentator or critic”, adding that
he likes to take the lead on all matters.
Soyinka, in his characteristically long treatise titled, “Watch and
Pray, Watch and Prey”, said: "I had fully attuned myself to the fact
that our Owu retiree soldier and prolific author is an infliction that
those of us who share the same era and nation space must learn to
endure.
“However, it does appear that there is no end to this individual’s
capacity for infantile mischief, and for needless, mind-boggling
provocations, such as his recent ‘literary’ intrusion on my peace.”
Making references to efforts by mutual acquaintances to reconcile them,
Soyinka said: “Perhaps I ought to interrupt myself here with an apology
to some mutual acquaintances – ‘blessed peacemakers’ and all –
especially in this season of ‘peace and goodwill to all men’.
“Please know that your efforts have not been entirely in vain. I had a
cordial exchange with Obasanjo over the phone recently – engineered by
himself, his ground staff and/or a chance visitor – when I had cause to
visit his Presidential Laundromat (Obasanjo’s Presidential Library) for
the first time ever.
“During that exchange, I complemented him on making some quite positive
use of landed property that was acquired under morally dubious
circumstances, and blatantly developed through a process that I
denounced as ‘executive extortionism’.
“That obscene proceeding has certainly set a competitive precedent for
impunity in President Jonathan’s recent fund-raising shindig… So much
for the latest from that direction – we mustn’t allow handing-over notes
between presidents to distract us for too long.
“To return to our main man, and friendly interventionists, you may like
to note that I went so far as to engage him in light banter, stating
that some of his lesser sins would be forgiven him for that creative
conversion of the landscape – a conversation that he shortly afterwards
delightedly shared with at least three mutual acquaintances.
“I promised a follow-up visit to view some mysterious rock script whose
existence, he informed me, was uncovered by workers during ground
clearing.
“The exchange was, in short, as good as ‘malice towards none’ that any
polemicist could hope to contribute to the ongoing season of peace and
goodwill.
“Obviously that visit will not now take place any more than the pursuit
of vague notions of some creative collaboration with his centre that
began to play around my mind.
“That much I do owe you from my report card. Perhaps you will now
accept that there are individuals who are born incorrigible but, more
importantly, that some issues transcend one’s personal preferences for
harmonious human relationships even in a season of traditional good
will.
“The change in weather conditions sits quite well with me however,
since we are both acquainted with the Yoruba proverb that goes: the
child that swears his mother will not sleep must also prepare for a
prolonged, sleepless infancy. So let it be with Okikiola (Obasanjo’s
middle name), the overgrown child of circumstance.”
Soyinka added that one of the ironies that leapt up at him as he read
what he termed “Obasanjo’s magnum opus” was that both of them are
victims of a number of distasteful impositions – such as being
compelled again and again to seek justice against libel in the law
courts.
“I felt genuine empathy to read that he still has a pending thirty-year
case instituted by him against his alleged libelers! Judgment was
delivered in my favour regarding one of the most nauseating only this
year, after surviving technical and other procrastinations, defendant
evasions and other legalistic impediments for nearly as long as his.
“That leaves only a veritable Methuselah on the court list still
awaiting re-listing under the resurrection ritual language known as de
novo.
“Unfortunately, not all acts of defamation or willful misrepresentation
are actionable, otherwise, my personal list against this newly revealed
fellow-sufferer would have counted for an independent volume of the
Nigerian Law Report since our paths first crossed during the civil war.
“My commitment to the belief in the fundamental right of all human
beings not to be lied against remains a life obsession, and thus
demands, at the very least, an obligation of non-commission among fellow
victims.
“I must therefore reserve a full, frontal dissection of Obasanjo’s My
Watch for later, most especially since the work itself is currently
under legal restraint and is not readily accessible to a general
readership.
“So, for now, let me single out just one of the most glaring instances
of this man’s compulsive career of lying, one sample that the media can
readily check upon and use as a touchstone – if they do need one – in
assessing our author’s multifaceted claims and commentaries on people
and events.
“I refer here to the grotesque and personally insulting statement that
he has attributed to me for some inscrutable but obviously diversionary
reasons.
“In the process, this past Master of Mendacity brazenly implicates an
innocent young man, Akin Osuntokun, who once served him as a Special
Adviser. Instead of conferring dignity on a direct rebuttal of an
ignoble fabrication, I shall simply make a personal, all-embracing
attestation:
“I despise that species of humanity whose stock-in-trade is to concoct
lies simply to score a point, win an argument, puff up his or her own
ego, denigrate or attempt to destroy a fellow being.
“However, even within such deplorable species, a special pit of
universal opprobrium is surely reserved for those who even lack the
courage of their own lies, but must foist them on others.
“When an old man stuffs a lie into the throat of an age-mate of his own
children – omo inu e! - we can only pity an irredeemable egomaniac
whose dotage is headed for twilight disgrace,” he said.
He signed off his response to Obasanjo’s assessment of him with the words “Chei! There is Death o!”.
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